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A lot of misery is avoided with a respectful ending and opportunity to start again with someone else after a period of sincere efforts to fix a love relationship.
The point is a triangle happens when two married (or simply committed people) don’t fix their marriage.
Too many pieces for stability what you get instead is fragmentation, conflict, and limited intimacy.
His superficial belief that he wants someone else’s woman for the convenience is a lie he defensively tells himself.
He thinks that loving someone else’s woman will save him from this fear of intimacy. In my mind, this is an opportunity for growth because triangles are not good for people.
But for the ‘other man’ this is a painful transition from an illusory relationship with a married woman in a triangle with a married man to a period of being alone again where some serious work can be done on his love life (if he’s up for it).
In other instances his defenses are so thick he doesn’t read the signs at least consciously.
Personally, I think most if not all married people know on some level if a spouse is cheating, but that’s just my belief.