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However, it didn’t erase the fact that he wanted to be close to me, but I couldn’t handle any type of sexual closeness.
It was just too painful of a reminder of the hurt I had experienced in my past.
Do what it takes to get to a place where your past no longer steals joy and peace from your life. Your spouse will eventually need to be a part of the healing process. Don’t trust just anyone to help you deal with this type of problem.
But most husbands and wives do not know how to unpack such delicate and yet powerful emotions without professional help. Not all friends, family members and counselors are “marriage-friendly.” Many of them can actually hurt you and your marriage in the process, more than help it. I’m all for good counsel, but make sure it’s truly the type of counsel you need.
The pain is immeasurably worse when the one who wronged us was a parent or a parent surrogate.
I couldn’t just put it on a “shelf” away from the forefront of my mind and count on it staying there any longer.
It will continue to haunt you unless you can come to terms with it.” And that is what I eventually knew I needed to do.
It wasn’t until a number of years into our marriage that the Lord started to impress upon me that I had “unfinished business” to work on. That’s when I first started the painful process of praying and reaching out to find the help I needed.
It’s important to properly deal with all that happened to you.
This is true whether you were a young child or an older one when you were originally victimized.