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The small, picturesque church was crowded with friends and family. This was the moment for which she had waited so long. “But then I was struck with these sickening thoughts: How many men could line up next to me on my wedding day? I had always been taught that I should be sexually pure, but adding emotional purity to the mix raised everything to the next level. None of my friends were dating, and I didn’t even really know any guys my age anyway.

Sunlight poured through the stained-glass windows, and the gentle music of a string quartet filled the air. He gently took her hand, and theyturned toward the altar. How many times have I given my heart away in short-term relationships? As for sexual thoughts, I was pretty good at sublimating them.

I resolved never to give someone reason to send me changing, and was careful to cover up any sign of sexuality. As a result, I suppressed every sexual thought I had, and I got pretty good at it.

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Lust and Modesty Another scene I remember very clearly from : A guy went to his girlfriend’s house to pick her up, and she came out wearing a tight top, and he told her to go in and change because the shirt was too immodest.

Another girl approached and stood next to the first, followedby another. But because of Harris, I now believed that these daydreams were wrong. It got to the point where I was afraid to so much as .

Soon, a chain of six girls stood by him as he repeated hisvows to Anna. “I’m…I’m sorry, Anna,” he said, staring at the floor. I wish I’d realized that my girlhood crushes were harmless.

I wish I’d known that dating around helps you learn what you want in a spouse, and helps you gain valuable relationship skills. Instead, I married the first person I ever dated, due in no small part to Joshua Harris’ teachings. I do, however, regret not dating around beforehand and making our relationship so serious so fast instead of letting it develop more naturally and with less stress.

Emotional Purity The reason that Joshua Harris condemns “recreational dating” is not simply because it is in his view a waste of time but also because he believes in a concept I have termed “emotional virginity.” Harris teaches not only that sex before marriage is wrong, but also that if you have a romantic relationship with someone you do not end up marrying, you give that person “a piece of your heart” that you cannot get back.

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