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The next day his foot itched like hell and had a sore on it. " The doc said "You think that's rare, I had a woman in here this morning with athlete's pussy".

Not in the spirit of the game: dragging his foursome through a three-and-a-half hour front nine. Defining characteristics: Considers golf course an extension of his office, home, therapist's couch, etc. THE CART GIRL SCHMOOZER Defining characteristics: Convinced he's got a shot with the cart girl.

Feigns apology when he drops bunker shot within inches of cup, then kicks sand off his shoes like a tour pro. " THE VOLCANO Defining characteristics: Has unique ability to allow even the most pleasant days to be soured by any bad swing, bounce, or lie.

Favourite expression "I guess it's just one of those days"... Relies on Ball Retriever Guy to occasionally fetch clubs out of lake. " DELUSIONAL GUY Defining characteristics: Forces group to wait on every par 5 because he's convinced he can get home in two. Favourite expression: "If I really catch it, I can get there". THE PLUMB BOBBER Defining characteristics: The only guy in the group not to notice the foursome behind yelling from the fairway as he lines up his putt for double from every angle imaginable.

Favourite expression: "One in the pond, two drop, three back in the pond.

Four I had that funky lie in the bunker and left it in the bunker"... Favourite expression: "A few beers will loosen up that swing!

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